Playing Through (Spring 2022)

GolfStyles Destinations

Course Spotlight

Golf Grammys

It’s a little known fact, but some of the greatest rock ’n rollers of our time were as consumed by golf as you are. In the 1970s and ’80s, before golf was cool, these performers were mainly closet golfers. But occasionally, they let their lust for the game slip into their songs lyrics. Here are some we found on a 12-handicapper’s playlist. – Jeff Thoreson

On your wives telling you that it’s OK to go on a spring golf trip to Pinehurst:
It was an April morning when they told us we should go /
And as I turn to you, you smiled at me /
How could they say no / Oh, the fun to have /
To live the dreams we always had.
– Led Zeppelin, “Achilles Last Stand”

On finishing a good round with consecutive double bogeys:
Everything put together, sooner or later falls apart /
There’s nothing to it, nothing to it /
You can cry /
You can lie /
For all the good it’ll do you.
– Paul Simon, “Everything Put Together Falls Apart”

On being trapped in a green-side bunker at Royal Lytham & St. Annes:
All I need is a pint today, if I ever get out of here.
– Paul McCartney, “Band on the Run”

On mulligans:
If I don’t make no bad mistakes and I get it right the first time, that’s the main thing /
You get it right the next time it’s not the same thing.
– Billy Joel, “Get It Right the First Time”

On playing Amen Corner at Augusta National in even par:
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be, and I don’t wanna go home right now.
– Goo Goo Dolls, “Iris”

On starting a new year of golf:
A long December and there’s reason to believe /
Maybe this year will be better than the last.
– Counting Crows, “Long December”

On hitting a provisional:
Reach down your hand in your pocket, and pull out some hope for me /
It’s been a long day.
– Matchbox 20, “Long Day”

On the plus-1 handicap at your club thinking he should try Q-school:
Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses?
– The Eagles, “Desperado”

On being in a greenside bunker in two, leaving it in the bunker, then scalding the next one out, hitting the pin and dropping in the hole for par:
I call that a bargain, the best I’ve ever had.
– The Who, “Bargain”

On paying an outrageous greens fee at a municipal-like course:
Is that all you get for your money? /
It seems such a waste of time.
– Billy Joel, “Movin’ Out”

On a 9-handicap insisting on playing from the back tees at a 147-slope course:
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend /
You could cut ties with all the lies you’ve been living in.
– Third Eye Blind, “Jumper”

On two holes-in-one in the same round:
You’ve never seen nothing like it, not ever in your life /
It’s like going up to heaven and then coming back alive /
Let me tell you all about it.
– Queen, “March of the Black Queen”

On shooting 73 one day and 85 the next:
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away /
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay.
– The Beatles, “Yesterday”

On your partner finally winning a hole:
So glad you made it /
So glad you’re here.
– Van Morrison, “Kingdom Hall”

On being a good player because you make a lot of short putts:
You’re the little thing, my saving grace /
Just a little thing, my saving grace.
– The Cranberries, “Saving Grace”

When you realize the drink cart girl has made her last round and you have 14 holes to play:
Since you’ve gone I’ve been lost without a trace /
I dream at night, I can only see your face /
I look around, but it’s you I can’t replace.
– The Police, “Every Breath You Take”

On how your 96 should have been an 82:
Forty-nine reasons, all in a line /
Some of them good ones, all of them lies.
– Crosby, Stills, and Nash, “49 Bye-byes”

On making a lot of pars but no birdies:
You can’t always get what you want /
But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.
– The Rolling Stones, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”

On the guy who gets hoisted from the course for not heeding slow-play warnings:
They told him don’t you ever come around here /
Don’t wanna see your face, you better disappear /
The fire’s in their eyes and their words are really clear /
So beat it, just beat it.
– Michael Jackson, “Beat It”

On your partner falling apart at a key point in the match:
I said breakdowns come and breakdowns go /
So what are you going to do about it /
That’s what I’d like to know.
– Paul Simon, “Gumboots”

On trying to finish a round before darkness:
There’s a threat of rain on the dark horizon /
And all that’s left is a quarter moon of light.
– Sting, “After the Rain Has Fallen”

On a players who think new equipment will improve their game:
Will you still have a song to sing when the Razor Boy comes and takes your fancy things away.
– Steely Dan, “Razor Boy”

On leaving every putt short:
She asked why the singer’s name was Alice /
I said listen baby, you really wouldn’t understand.
– Alice Cooper, “Be My Lover”

On following up back-to-back double bogeys with a quad:
Shout, shout, let it all out /
These are the things we can do without.
– Tears for Fears, “Shout”

On what a 2-handicap says to an 18-handicapper before the Member-Guest:
So baby hold on to me /
Whatever will be, will be /
The future is ours to see /
When you hold on to me.
– Eddie Money, “Baby Hold On”

On choking to lose the club championship:
Well, everybody hurts sometimes /
Everybody cries /
Everybody hurts sometimes.
–R.E.M., “Everybody Hurts”

On playing terribly one day and great the next:
When the demon is at your door /
In the mornin’ he won’t be there no more.
– Steely Dan, “Any Major Dude”

On lamenting about how your career and advancing age have combined to soil your handicap:
Think I’m going down to the well tonight and I’m going to drink till I get my fill /
And I hope when I get old I don’t sit around thinking about it but I probably will /
Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture a little of the glory /
But time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister but boring stories of glory days.
– Bruce Springsteen, “Glory Days”

On playing in GolfStyles’ 10-rounds-in-a-day Golf Decathlon:
You’re fooling yourself and you don’t believe it /
You’re kidding yourself and you don’t believe.
– Styx, “Angry Young Man”

On playing and staying at Pine Valley:
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be, and I don’t wanna go home right now.
– Goo Goo Dolls, “Iris,” (version II)

On summing up the game:
It’s all a lot of oysters, but no pearls.
– Counting Crows, “Long December”